Hi all I'm Anna!!! I've been married for five years and I am a Momma to a beautiful, energetic, lovely two year old boy named Holden Michael. As we ALL know, Motherhood is no walk in the park. No matter how much you read, practice or dream - it can never fully prepare you for a babe, especially a first babe.
I had an awesome pregnancy and an awesome labor and delivery. Exactly six hours from water breaking to holding him on my chest. All natural!! Postpartum Anxiety hit me from the jump and I had NO IDEA. I was fully prepared for PPD - watching my thoughts and feelings, but I was happy. I just couldn’t settle. I was so tired, but I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. Then anxiety eventually turned into depression. My body had changed so much. I was unmotivated to workout, eat right or even get out of my house. I have a summer babe, so it was too hot to take him outside. Then he was still too little to be out in the cold, in the winter. So I just stayed inside eating and THEN I didn’t even want to go out because I didn’t want anyone to see me! I withdrew from everyone and essentially became a recluse. A crazy, vicious cycle! (Carmen can attest - she practically hunted me down/also fun fact I've known Lauren and Carmen for more than 20 years!)
My husband is the bread winner and he was doing his job beautifully and I felt like as a SAHM...the baby/house is MY job. And you never want to complain to your spouse about the best job in the world...so I didn’t talk. I tried to keep everything perfect (outside of myself) until I started to crack. And that’s what kept me in my cloud for so long. I used to want 6 kids and to be a Wife and a Mother. I’d dreamed of that since I was a little girl. But when I became a Mom, and being raised by a Mom who was fulfilled being a SAHM...I had a very tough realization that I LOVE my Baby, fiercely. But I do not always love being a SAHM....and that is O-K-A-Y! And once I realized that, accepted it and talked about it out loud...that’s when my depression broke. And that was January of this year (my son was born July 2017!) That’s a long time, Girls! Too long!
So my encouragement to you is - if you are feeling these things - anything - TALK! Just talk! Open your mouth and talk to someone. Your spouse, find a Mom’s group in your area to join (this is what really helped me- Moms Time at my Church) or connect with someone in this community. We carry A LOT as Mommas and it is okay to want other things and it is okay to BE FULLY satisfied being home with your Babes and killing the SAHM Life! And it is okay not be perfect. None of us are - Welcome to the Club!!👏 Your crazy is welcome here and so are you!! Bc I know mine is 😁
Now, I have my own Communication Coaching business and I LOVE it! I get to stay home with my Baby, but also take Mommy-Mind Breaks and focus on something I really love encouraging others and it fills my cup back up! And by doing that - I enjoy my baby and motherhood SO much more! We are all different, but we are all in this together! You’re amazing, Momma!!!